14 Jun Magnolias and Messaging

Be kind, y’all.

It was on a sweatshirt, there was a magnolia, and I thought it was great advice. So I bought it.

The first time I wore it, though, I felt uneasy. Before I put it on, it was admonishing me. Once I put it on, I was admonishing others. Who am I to be telling people to do something I don’t practice myself?

Later that day, when I boarded a flight, the gate agent commented, “That is so true, and so needed.” I said, “I’m wearing it mostly to remind myself.”

Maybe the y’all, and the magnolia, make it a friendly reminder rather than a sermon. Hope so.

I’m similarly uneasy writing what follows, so take it with a magnolia.

The two celebrity suicides in early June were a terrible reminder, in case we needed it, that there is a lot of pain hidden in a lot of people. A friend of mine pointed out there are 121 suicides a day in America. A day.

After events like these we remind people who are hurting to reach out. But like my friend said, that’s putting even more of a burden on the suffering person. We should be trying to lighten that burden. Maybe when someone says everything is fine, it isn’t really. Maybe they want us to reach out to them without being asked. And when we don’t, it’s further proof (in their minds) that they don’t matter to us, to anyone. If we cared, we wouldn’t need to be told.

I don’t think he’s suggesting that we assume everyone is suicidal. I think it does mean paying attention to those around us, and being kind, no matter what.

What does this have to do with messaging?

We are constantly communicating with, and to, people we don’t agree with about something. Unfortunately it’s become the fashion to demonize, and even depersonalize, people who are “wrong.”

Step one in any attempt to persuade is recognizing our shared humanity and dignity, the dignity we’ve got and the respect we deserve simply because we’re persons. I don’t have to respect what you think, or what you do, but I have to respect you. Even when you’re not in the room. Even when I’m talking about you behind your back.

If we don’t proceed from a place of respect, our message is undermined.

We will be found out. Plus, it’s the right thing to do.

Be kind, y’all.